At the start of a new year, we’re often inspired to reflect on the past year (and what a year it was!) and plan for the one ahead. There’s a lot of pressure to set far-reaching goals and “become your best self.” What if we skipped this age-old tradition this year? Before you close the window, hear me out! While resolutions can be positive in the sense that they promote change and healthy habits, they can also be frustrating and demoralizing. In today’s blog post, let’s look at three reasons to skip resolutions for 2021 and also consider the link between resolutions and eating disorders relapses.
Three Reasons to Skip New Year’s Resolutions for 2021
Here are three reasons to skip New Year’s resolutions this year:
You’re already happy: Some people thrive off the pressure to be better and do better, but if you’re fulfilled with your life just as it is, why would you stress yourself out with lofty goals? We live in a world where it feels like you should always want more, but I’m here to tell you, it’s OK to be content. Spend 2021 soaking in that feeling instead of trying to fix something that isn’t broken!
You know that it’s the journey, not the destination, that matters most: More important than the resolution itself is the action steps it takes to achieve it. Resolutions tend to skip over the process of reaching that achievement, focusing instead on the end result and perfectionism — which only sets us up for failure. Sure, you may hit your goal nine out of ten times, but it’s that one misstep that often weighs heaviest. Instead, celebrate the small victories and just enjoy the ride, whatever it may look like.
You’re not ready for a major change: 2020 was a hard year for many of us, and in a lot of ways, we’re all seeking a return to normalcy, not total transformation. Change is scary and takes a lot of work. A new year is a great opportunity for a fresh start, but so is the 1st of April or May — or even the beginning of a new week. Wait until you’re ready to make a major life change and then go for it on your own timeline.
The Link Between Resolutions and Eating Disorders
A fourth reason to skip resolutions: They can be triggering. It’s no surprise that studies show that a majority of resolutions focus on weight loss and getting in shape. Unfortunately, they can trigger eating disorders, causing them to reemerge after or during recovery or even encouraging new ones with personal commitments to diets or food restrictions and overambitious exercise routines.
If you’re in eating disorder recovery, set small, achievable goals instead of a single, overarching resolution. Rather than making big promises like “I will never binge or purge again,” focus on practical targets like:
Join an eating disorder support group and participate regularly.
Meet with your therapist more often.
Make an effort to practice self-care more frequently. Keep it simple, like reading a book or journaling before bed.
Avoid adding an amount of time or duration to your goal (like 15 minutes every day or 3 days per week), as you’re more likely to fail if you enforce these types of requirements. Set yourself up for success by keeping your goals flexible and open-ended.
Relapses on Your Journey to Eating Disorder Recovery
The truth is that eating disorder relapses happen and are often an important part of the recovery journey. Relapsing is particularly common after the excitement of the holidays - a time filled with family, food, and fun - is replaced with a return to normalcy. It can be a lonely time for a year for some, which often leads to seeking comfort in food, exercise, or old habits.
If you do experience a relapse, it’s important to seek help and focus on self-care. Rather than worrying about not fulfilling a singular resolution, give priority to the big picture: In the coming year, work hard to find freedom from the disordered eating patterns that have held you back in the past and always give yourself grace along the way.
Discover the possibility of living a meaningful life. Discover the possibility of recovery. Reach out to Dr. Benaaz Russell, PsyD, CEDS, today to schedule an appointment!